As you all know, I try to be a hands-off moderator and a very light handed administrator. But I’ve had to change some things recently in response to spam and copyright issues in the comments. Sometimes community safety has to be a priority over freedom to post.
Please be careful when posting links to third-party resources. Recently a commenter wrote about something helpful and another reader looked it up and found some of the material objectionable (not in an R rated way but in a fundamental belief way) and asked me if I agreed with it and I went to the website and read it and I really didn’t agree with it and it did go against some of what I do agree with.
The opinions of commenters here are not mine. If you find something helpful, that is terrific to let people know but please try to keep those to a minimum. I don’t want to ban that practice completely (I find many new things this way as well!) but keep it to “This book changed my life.” or “I find the writings of x to be helpful” type of references. If something is specifically endorsed on the right side banner (ie Grief Recovery Handbook, Susan Anderson’s book, etc), feel free to delve more deeply into it. Anything on the right hand side, either a link to books or to websites, has been fully investigated and endorsed by me and I have no problem with commenters talking at length about it. I’m also willing to check out things that people ask me about and include it. I’m trying to get to my copy of Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck and will include that when I finish it. I’m really not trying to restrict discussion but the safety of this community is paramount and no-gooders do slip in and I want to keep it safe. So erring on the side of caution is necessary.
I don’t normally police anyone and I really don’t read the references of regular commenters or go look up things they’ve talked about because I know them and they are all good resources. But spammers are becoming more sophisticated and burying references in otherwise generic posts. That was not the case in this one (it was actually a reference from a regular) but I can’t read everything that everyone talks about and while you are all free to discuss anything and everything I have to make sure this remains a safe environment and that no-gooders are not slipping things in and that readers and commenters feel safe here. If you want to talk about someone or something and want my opinion, ask. I will normally do a post about something that readers ask me about that I don’t think about in an “I need to write about that” way.
Also if something is posted here it does not have my endorsement unless it’s listed on the bar on the right side. So please know that the opinions here of third-party material are those of the commenters and not me.
When quoting ANYTHING AT ALL from another website or author please give full credit and please keep the quotes and references to a minimum. I fight copyright battles of my own every day and currently have one with a person on Friendster who copied my stuff with NO credit whatsoever. I would not like any other author or site ripped off and have their stuff on here. When posting third party information please please please please don’t copy large swaths of stuff and post it into your comments and PLEASE credit whatever you take including the website name but without a hyperlink (this explained below). I use Copyscape and Google to police my blog being copied all over the place and I go crazy when it is, so I don’t want to have others come to me about copyright violations. I tend to just delete comments where this is the case and I don’t want to do that to my readers. So please go light on posting third party stuff as much as possible.
The other thing I’ve done is disallow links within comments because there has been so much spam that they are all going in the spam filter. If you’re flagged as someone who consistently posts comments with links ALL your stuff is getting flagged by the spam filter (Akismet), not just the ones with links. So to avoid you all going to comment jail, I’ve disallowed links but if you have a blog or website, put the url in your address (in the space that allows it in comments) and reference it in your post (as in “I talked about this in my blog recently, click on my username to go to my blog…”). Also I will post your blog links on the side: GPYP Reader Blogs. Just shoot me an email about it.
Also please keep profanity to an absolute minimum. It is not necessary in civil discourse.
No personal attacks PLEASE. This must remain a safe forum and anyone engaging in personal attacks will be banned. You are free to disagree with each other but please let’s be civil and treat each other with respect.
Please keep “text speak” to a minimum. Please spell out your and you and other words that tend to be truncated in texting. It makes it easier to read.
If you inadvertently post your picture or a personal website link in your comment, I will delete it if you email me personally. However, unless you post identifying information about you or someone else, your comment remains on the blog. I can’t delete every comment someone thinks better of later on. So please post carefully.
If you are not getting replies to your comments, it may be getting lost in older posts. Post on the check in thread or introduction threads. If you’re not getting replies, ask why. Perhaps what you’re asking for isn’t clear. Don’t take it personally. We all want to help you. We don’t want anyone coming off a breakup to feel ignored! Let us know how we can help and that your questions were not answered. We WANT to help you!
Absolutely no religion or politics. No politics or political references are allowed without exception. As far as religion goes, you can say “I’m a religious person” or “I’m a spiritual person” or “I’m very active in my church” or “I pray each night” or “I believe God will take care of me.” and share what comforts you, but don’t tell others what to believe or that they need to do.
We can agree to disagree without being disagreeable.
Do not make generalizations such as all men are evil, all women are jealous shrews….etc.
Please try to use a name in your post (it doesn’t have to be your real one but it’s easier to remember what MaryMoore is writing about than TooMuchHassle. Names tend to be more identiable. At the same time, try to post more than just first name in your posts. We have several Kathy’s, at least 2 Lolas and a few Matthews and Mikes. It helps to distinguish you if you use more than just a first name. If your name is Susan please use some other letter or abbreviation or something to distinguish you from me. While I use susangpyp, many people see Susan and just think it’s me. Then I get emails about what you said. Thanks.
I know all this is a pain but with the number of readers here and the amount of real spam we get, I really have to do it to keep management to a minimum.
Sorry for this heavy handedness. I hope you understand.