These are pictures of me and my family since people have asked about them. I love my kids and am so proud of them and that we’ve all stayed close and strong through thick and thin and believe me there have been plenty of lean, tough times…
I put in the pix from 1986 when they were little and also from Florida in 1991. I was only a few years separated and you might be able to tell from the pix they were a handful those boys.
They fought like cats and dogs. They were dramatic and in turmoil, a lot of the time, because of their father and stepmother. They had a tumultuous upbringing but I tried to make it right and create a healthy environment for them and break the cycle of abuse in our families.
They argued a lot as kids and again as teenagers. I wanted them to be close and loving and loyal and many days they just wanted to KILL each other. I just kept playing referee and trying to mediate their differences (they are all very different) and letting them know that they are BROTHERS and I wanted them to care about each other. It felt like a race to the finish line sometimes and there were nights I cried myself to sleep wondering if I was doing the right thing.
Today I am so proud of the fact that they are good, loving young men. This is what a family looks like when they beat the odds. :) We are a happy family and a close family and the boys are very very close. And some days I think that’s a miracle. And I’m very grateful for it.
Out of all the things I’ve done in my life, raising my kids has been the most important thing and the toughest thing.
Some pix are from the wedding and engagement party but other occasions as well.
Who is who in the photos:
Chris is my oldest son, CJ and Derek are his sons.
Michael is my middle son and forever single. :)
Nicholas is my youngest son and it was his wedding. He married Kristen his sweetheart of 6 years. (they are both 25) They are a lovely couple and I’m so proud that they share such a loving relationship. Both her father and I doubted its seriousness in the beginning but they are meant to be together and have such a great relationship. Even though they root for different baseball teams. :)
Gina is my daughter. She is 14. Michael (DiCarlo my husband) was raising her alone when we met and I’ve raised her since she was 2. We’re very close.
Theresa is Michael’s daughter from his first marriage. Samantha is her daughter.
Makayla is Kristen’s niece. She is about 4 months older than CJ. Even though one lives in New York and one in Massachusetts they see each other a lot and were flower girl and ring bearer at the wedding. For two 3 year olds they did INCREDIBLY well and then they danced the night away. They were so funny. CJ keeps asking to go to Uncle Nick’s wedding again. :)
Nick and Michael live in Massachusetts which is where I raised the boys and met my husband (a native Bostonian). We live in New York as does my son Chris.
You have a beautiful family!
What a wonderful looking family. Your grandkids are adorable!! It’s a shame Michael is forever single :).
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks. I told Michael I would love for him to come with me on my book tour and work with me, but I couldn’t have him breaking hearts on my mending hearts tour. And he doesn’t really know “how it happens” but it does.
You have a BEAUTIFUL family, Susan – it is actually unbelievable how well you managed to keep everything together AND got rid of bananheads AND found a soul mate AND were so successful in raising some healthy boys who are able to to have healthy relationships AND furthered your career AND just had the stamina and determination to pull through your life’s wishes with all the sticks that were thrown into your path. I wish I had more of you, whatever it is. I also have all the ideas of what would be good for me, but I have such a phlegmatic lazy streak, which I despise, but somehow always know that its there. I cannot say that I have success in anything (except maybe having raised a beautiful and healthy-thinking 18-year-old daughter) . I have STILL not finished my Masters Degree, which I am registered for for FOUR years already – My beloved 21-year old son has such a screwed up personality and is in constant danger of becoming an addict himself, just as his father was an alcoholic. He is insecure and therefore manipulative just as his dad. He doesn’t see anything wrong with his dad’s behaviour and I cannot discuss anything sensitive with him at all – he would just either get aggressive or ‘run’ away.I feel guilty that I exposed him to that bananahead of soon-to-be-ex for far too long (hence the phlegmatic stigma), knowing and realising that its the wrong thing to do. How can I, and can I prevent my son from becoming a bananahead? :(
In the mean time I wish you further strength and courage for the health of your hubby!
Thank you Susi. I don’t think that success in raising a healthy child is a small thing. It’s a SUCCESS you should be proud of! I absolutely implore everyone to make great hay of their successes and raising a healthy daughter is NO SMALL THING!! Give yourself plenty of pats on the back for that.
Continue to get healthy and then set boundaries with your oldest. My oldest was the most screwed up because he had been exposed to his father the longest (and had the most hope of a relationship with him).
At 21 he was not yet out of the woods and had a few trials and tribulations to go through. He met my daughter in law when he was 24 and she was also the oldest of a divorcing, dysfunctional couple when she was little. Because of their backgrounds I don’t think they have the most functional relationship but they try AND they are wonderful (truly giving and loving and always there) parents to their two boys and we give them a lot of credit for that and they do try to hold their relationship together with little training in their lives. He and I are closer than we’ve ever been and he’s actually come a long long way.
When he was younger I set boundaries with him and modeled healthy behavior. Very very rarely will we have a dustup (but we do have them about once a year) but it happens.
What matters with children is modeling healthy behavior for them no matter how old they are. And letting them know you love them but you have healthy boundaries and cannot and will not be manipulated or walked on.
Keep doing what you are doing and be good to YOU so you can show them how to be good to themselves. Thanks for your kind words and for being here.
You have a very wonderful and loving family Susan.
You’re an inspiration.