Confused, it must be really hard the thought of bumping into your ex around work. Stay strong, and maybe think of an action plan for how you’ll deal with it if and when it happens.

Hope, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. You deserve better girl. hang in there and know that you can get through this. Best wishes and healing thoughts to your Mum.

Cat and Rebecca, I went on a couple of dates about 6 weeks after my break-up. It was partly to take my mind off the ex. On one of the dates I thought about my ex the whole way through, on the other date (a different guy who I’d fancied for a few months) I had a great time :-) I’m now at the 3 month NC point and am going on a date this weekend (through a dating website)… Like you say, I think it depends on your mindset when you start dating again… I keep checking how I’m feeling about it, and will continue to monitor how it makes me feel, and whether I’m dating for healthy reasons or out of neediness/desperation!

Beatrice and Kalo, I read on another thread that you’re not doing too good. My thoughts are with you, hang in there. I’m at the 3 month point now, and can honestly say that overall I feel significantly better than I did a few weeks ago. It will get better, you are getting through this.

Newday, twas good to see you smile… Here’s one right back at ya :-) Take good care, thinking of you and sending you good vibes.

Love and hugs to everyone x x

All I know is that this is “my growth time”.

I look in the mirror and do not regonize myself from all of these tears. Sometimes I feel that my ex was not worth all of this pain. I still go from sad to pain and beginning anger.

I just want this to be over with. It is so not fair.

I have been reading this website posts for about a week or more.

I fit right in. I had lived with my boyfriend for 6 years and asked him to move out. I was going through a very tough time and he was emotionally and financially unavailable. Afterward I told him if we were meant to be we would be and if not then it’s best.

Wow did things go wrong! He was very angry and hurt that I asked him to move out. He did not work on himself or our relationship and that’s when I realized that I asked him to move out so that he would WORK at the relationship. Instead he let it go. I continued to believe and hope that he would “come around” to seeing what a wonderful woman I was and do the “work”. Instead he found another woman to be sexual with..but no intimacy.

That knocked me down bad. Our sex life was practically non-existant for years and got worse by the year and when I found out about “her” I went out of my mind. Since then I’ve worked very hard at acceptance. He is who he is and is capable of limited intimacy with woman. He does love me..as much as he can..but we are at a stand still.

I now attend Alanon (we are both recovering for over 18 yrs) and work with a sponsor for Women Who Love Too Much. I am working very hard at focusing on me and my recovery. My sponsor says I am doing very well and that I’m a survivor. I’ve always know that but it sure was good to hear it.

I have custody of my grand daughter and he is the only male in her life and cherishes her. He is very kind to me and visits once a week with her.

I still love him and know that being with another man is not going to work because when I tried I compared all of them to him. When I went onto the dating sites I described him! I’m staying single and working on building relationships with girlfriends and myself. So far so good.

I don’t do NC and do see it as a hinderance to letting go completely. I make the choice to allow him to be grandpa and have his visits. Once in a while we do something together like dinner or a ride on his Harley, but I don’t fool myself into beleiving it’s anything more than what it is.

Just thought I’d share. Thanks for listening.

Thank you for the well wishes and prayers for my mom. She has smoked for 36 years but says she never thought that it would happen to her. I am so scared of losing her, but hearing success stories gives me such comfort. We lost my uncle to lung cancer and it was so hard to watch the pain he went through. I told her if she loses her hair I am going to shave my head! My family is very close, we are very blessed for that. And hopefully we will remain strong and beat this. I just have a hard time staying strong for everyone, and when I get alone I crumble.

Don’t be embarassed or beat yourself up for giving the ex another try. He is lucky that you gave him that. In fact, I think your new found wisdom came out….this time you were looking to see if his actions matched his words (remember what Susan says: love is an action).

So, you have learned something and you are growing and I am proud of you! You are changing! You are looking to do what is better for you.

My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family!!!

I’m sorry to hear about your mom. If it’s any consolation, my aunt had operable lung cancer and was cancer-free for over 10 years, meaning she beat it. I know that all cancer is tough and terrible but operable lung cancer usually has very good rates of recovery (that is what my family was told and my aunt was operated on over 25 years ago so I believe it is probably true). I’m wishing good things for your mom!

Second….the ex sounds like a real gem…you are better off without him….apparently his overtures are about him and definitely not about you.

We all deserve people who will be there in our darkest hours. THAT is what a partner is and what they’re there for.

You deserve so much better. Take care of you and hang in there….keep venting here…we care about you!