Life’s Lessons from the Dalai Lama
April 30, 2008 by susangpyp
Someone sent me these tips for living from the Dalai Lama. I’m amazed at how many comport with GPYP philosophies. Good stuff!!!
10. “Be gentle with the earth.”
9. “A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.”
8. “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
7. “Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.”
6. “Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.”
5. “Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”
4. “Spend some time alone every day.”
3. “When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.”
2. “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.”
1. “Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.”
Susan -
Were they listed in reverse order on purpose? I think that “Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk” is very accurate. I read somewhere that divorce rates these days are at around 55%. If that is the case, I think that it is reasonable to assume that breakup rates are much higher than that due to the lack of (legal) commitment. Anywhere in the vicinity of 80% would be a good bet.
As a result, I don’t know why we (especially myself) get so shocked when we break up!!! It was a very high risk “investment” in the first place.
LFG
Hi LFG! How ARE you?
I liked reading it backwards for some reason so I kept it like that.
Stephen Levine says we are constantly surprised by the same old thing. I think your sentiment is accurate!
I tried to gauge the breakup rates for my book proposal but I could not even get there. I think 80 percent has to about right. And the sad part is that a lot of couples who stay together are just stuck in their enmeshed codependency and not actually happy. OR they know they could not take the tidal wave of losses that will hit them if they end their relationship so they hang on to Mr. or Ms. Dysfunction.
How many happy couples are there? I don’t know that many. I know people who have been together for years but aren’t really happy but too scared to leave.
My favorite one on this list is:
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
My inability to put my first marriage back together was the BEST thing that ever happened to me!
Susan -
I think you raised a very interesting point. The key metric is the percentage of truly happy couples (married or who are just in a romantic partnership) and not the percentage of couples who are together. I am willing to bet that the former is around 5-10% at most. Knowing this figure helps to keep things in perspective. At least it makes me start to look at successful relationships as rare exceptions and not as the rule.
I also like the “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck” lesson. I especially like the subtle insertion of the word “sometimes” because it doesn’t make the lesson sound like a religious cliche. Sometimes not getting what we want was for the best and other times it was just bad luck or timing. S**it happens. I can’t stand when people try to comfort you saying “oh honey, it was a blessing in disguise. You will see”. I look at them puzzled and simply say “thank you, but how do you know for sure?”. We just don’t and should learn to accept what is instead of letting the anger from not getting what we want have a grip on us. It takes practice to develop this attitude, but it has given me peace.
LFG
he threw me a bday party today a year ago…time flies. i dont expect to hear from him today this year though
Is it your birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You’ve done well this year. BE GOOD TO YOU!!!!
Happy Birthday n!
I hope you have something special planned for yourself!
On my birthday this year, I went out to dinner w/my two best friends. That was nice. Do something really nice for yourself, and call any special friends you have if they’re far away.
Happy Birthday n!
What did you today?
My birthday was just a couple weeks after he cheated on me and broke off. He did call that day, but I made sure that I didnt have any contact with him that day because I didn’t want to create any memories that I’d think of the next year, plus I was doing NC. I went out for dinner with a few friends and I was escastic that I had a few really hard laughs and at those moments the ex had popped out of my head (although he still seems to be renting space in my head constantly)… I was so grateful that I was able to have a birthday dinner filled with good friends and laughs… my ex of 4 years wasn’t there, but I couldn’t do anything about it.
It’s about accepting what is. Change is extremely hard for me…. but I guess the sooner you’re able to accept how things change and adapt… the easier it is on you.
Hope you had a great day.
Anna