At Saturday’s seminar people kept mentioning that they found the blog through googling…so I looked at the Google “search terms” that people use to find the blog. Looking at the search terms is a feature of Word Press that I NEVER looked at before yesterday.
So I look and these are the search terms from the last few days.
BTW, “George MacDonald porn”? I don’t know what that is, don’t want to know and don’t know what that has to do with me. But two different people (at least) are searching for it and somehow found this blog. That’s a scary thought.
The search terms are in italics. My comments un-italicized.
getting past divorce
You’re in the right place.
getting past your past
Again, right place.
grief healing cycle emotions
Right place.
in order to trust someone
You have to trust yourself.
past life guilt
We have enough to worry about with this life! Let the past go but REALLY let past lives go.
fear of intimacy
Probably part of the issue.
should exs communicate
Only if they have children and then only in a business sense.
break up no nos
That would be HERE
betrayal abandonment friend
Been there, experienced that. It sucks. You’re in the right place.
getting dumped after an affair -internet
That sounds right.
abandonment enmeshment
Two heads of the same coin.
fear of abandonment
This is the home of people moving on from same.
normal post breakup feelings
That would be HERE.
getting a good relationship
In order to find the right person, BE the right person.
getting parents to look past age difference
Good luck with that.
codependency criticism
Criticism of a codependent? From a codependent? Of codependency? I need more to work with.
wayne dwyer
Not a new age cultist I can tell you that. See HERE for a silly idea.
you’re not who i thought you were
Really. You’re in the right place.
reasons for ex to be friends
None. nada. zero. zip. goose egg. Friends don’t let friends be friends with the ex.
steps to getting over a bad relationship
Step One: read this blog!
alanon+sponsor+love
It’s good to love your alanon sponsor. No need to google that. :)
can people change controlling behavior
Yes, by leaving the controller.
addiction ultimatums
Good luck with that.
eating during a break up
You should eat during a breakup.
getting over fight of flight
Fight or flight? Both responses to perceived threats. There is no getting over it. It’s innate human nature.
dysfunctional families that allow inappropriate behavior.
That would be all of them.
getting back together after break up
Probably not a good idea.
susan j elliott
That’s me! (and about 70 other people). Hope I’m the one you’re looking for!
how to trust someone
trust yourself first.
ex mixed messages
That’s what ex’s do. Believe none of it. It’s all rubbish.
“the week” walter kirn multitasking
FANTASTIC ARTICLE.
what it means if a guy still contacts you after a breakup
He has an itch and he thinks he HAS to scratch it and make you itchy as well.
falling in love right after a break up
Bad idea.
obsessive relational progression
Whoa. Maybe I’ll do a post on this.
george mcdonald porno
Okay, how does one find me with THIS search?
blogs on dating a woman with ptsd
Let me know if there are any.
when to seek therapy after a breakup
Immediately.
“water seeks its own level”
Why yes it does.
fear of intimacy and passive aggressive
They go hand in hand.
facebook + can’t find someone after breakup
Good.
is myex girlfriend curious about me after our breakup
No.
living well is the best revenge
Why yes it is.
do men suffer after breakup
Yes they do.
infidelity files day
Hmmmm…not sure what this means. Would be interesting to find out.
what abuser do after the break up
They look for their next victim.
positive thinking breakups
Are there any?
finding yourself after a break-up
You’re in the right place!!!
how to know if your ex misses u
He or she doesn’t…and it doesn’t matter.
best antidepressant for grief
That would be doing your grief work.
dr phil getting over love
Dr. Phil needs to get over himself.
blog past your past
Good idea.
breakup ignore calls no closure
There is always the ability to have closure. See HERE.
vedio for developing floroll company
WHAT?
bailing out:the healthy way to get out of a relationship
Step One: don’t think of it as “bailing out.” Idiot.
signs your ex wants to reconcile
Have you learned nothing here?
getting even with the narcissist
No such thing. The narcissist ALWAYS wins. Run away and never look back.
love addict moving on
That’s good. I think.
Getting over you.
Right place!
OMG, I just laughed so hard reading those, I almost p’d my pants.
Me, too. I needed a good laugh tonight. A very large Thank You. If you get tired of all this, you could get your own show.
Too funny! My favorite: past life guilt. (-; And thanks for the very timely NC reminder: “None. Nada. Zero. Zip. Goose egg….” Yeppers.
Hey, bluebird…how are you? Good to see you posting. I think you said you had a health problem. Are you okay?
Seeif
Seeif,
Hi! Yes, I’m doing OK, and thanks very much for asking. (-; Hope you’re good tonight too. Your posts have helped me so many times, long before I ever got up my nerve to post here.
I think I Googled “Help after breakup” or something like that. Thinking back, I was so desperate and lost. My hair was on fire, and I needed a bucket to stick my head in FAST. I got immediate — and I mean immediate — comfort in AFTER THE BREAKUP. I thought, wow, this lady knows exactly how I feel.
….er…I guess I should have said “a bucket of water.” Add some water to that bucket, or I would have been one big buckethead (on fire).
Anytime you’re ready to start that floroll company you’re thinking of starting- clue us in! I’m sure we’ll all watch your vedios and be standing in line for a fresh floroll.
About seven years ago my accupuncturist sent me to an ‘intuitive healer’ chiropractor. He told me that I had known one of my ex bfs in the Civil War, but he had been the woman and I had been the man. Whatever! It didn’t even matter. (That breakup wasn’t such a big deal even).
*But*, he did tell me that I would have a huge health crisis last year…and my breakup has certainly been the biggest mindbody crisis I’ve experienced…LOL, but gpyp had the answers for me…not the ‘intuitive’. (Who I never went back to…)
no past life guilt!
Susan,
I think gpyp was a link on a message board for love addiction. However I made it here, I’m really glad I did. Your posts and this blog are changing my life — beyond my imagination. It’s teaching me a lot about the truth of synchronicity. Thanks for putting yourself out into the universe.
Seeif
Everyone I have ever met who has gone for past life regression somehow winds up in the Civil War. They must teach a lot of that in past life regression class (”you can’t go wrong with the Civil War…anyone who was anyone was there!”)
I once dated a guy who did Civil War reenactments and swore he channeled his past life from the Civil War (oh. okay). But in this life he was not so swift. He should have spent more time learning how to be in this century instead of fighting a war we’d already won. Idiot.
Ha ha. I liked your “answers” to the search items on this article. Short, sweet, and to the point. I actually found this site by googling “friends with the ex” or something to that effect because at the time I was feeling very guilty for refusing to be my ex’s friend. I was thinking “we’ll never have an opportunity to reconcile now and it’s all my fault for cutting off contact.” Blah, blah, blah. But I found this site to be helpful for so much more than just breakups. It was a great find and I read here quite a bit.
Lisa Anne
…oh and I especially love the “friends don’t let friends be friends with the ex” line. Brilliant. lol.
Lisa Anne
Floroll….wtf?
I found your website by searching “core issues”, “enmeshment”, “abandonment”, and “grief work”.
Love your blog! Been so helpful and soothing for me.
Thank you rere and welcome! At least you used terms that have something to do with what you find here. :)
I am now the floroll nazi…no floroll for you!
My coworkers probably think I’m crazy now (or crazier than they already thought I was…) because I’m sitting here at my desk laughing out loud. That was great.
Maybe florolls and widgets are the same thing??? :)
Lucy I sent you a private email to your earlier email and your job’s spam filter bounced it. :(
I found this blog by searching via keywords: FRIENDS WITH EX – HOW TO BE
Boy was I shocked when I read NO FRIENDS WITH EX NO NO NO DO NOT TALK TO HIM! Can you say rude awakening?
Actually it woke me up to serious boundary issues that I had…did I say SERIOUS boundary issues? Yep. Big Time. I had this idea stuck in my head that you should be friends with everyone you encounter and that you are somehow less than if you cannot get along with someone or if you decide they aren’t worth keeping in contact with…it went against EVERYTHING I had been taught about being nice and courteous and…well, a wilting flower. I see it clearly now. I have EVERY RIGHT to cut someone loose that doesn’t behave properly and mistreats me. Heck, I have every right to end contact if they show up for a date late more than once. That took me FOREVER to get into my head. Late once, OK. Late twice, LOSER who really doesn’t want to admit you’re not important enough to him to be on time. Still learning, still learning, still learning and seeing the good treatment is GOOD TREATMENT, not selfishness or rudeness. It’s all about self respect.
I came here 6 weeks after the end. It was December and I was at the end of my rope. In desperation, I googled “grief” and “breakup” hoping for something that would explain my feelings. I read the two entries about the emotions of grief after the breakup. Suddenly, things started to make sense. Finally, someone understood exactly how I felt.
I’m not sure where I’d be today if I hadn’t found this site. It hasn’t been easy (it’s still plenty hard at times), but it would have been impossible without GPYP. What I like most about this site is it’s honesty – Susan is sympathetic to our plight but doesn’t try to sugarcoat the work that’s needed to get where we need to be. How refreshing.
I remember exactly what I googled: no contact; break up
Heather,
Yes, exactly! I googled FRIENDS WITH THE EX also, feeling just as you describe, and found the same rude awakening, for all the same reasons. I had never before broken off a relationship of any kind with anyone. I was so bad I could never even throw away pictures of people I had never known and couldn’t identify. (-; And I did not believe Susan at first (but isn’t that?… but what about?… but, but, but….!), but even so a great relief immediately came washing over me as I read the After the Breakup post. I certainly wasn’t anywhere near ready to try NC (that took six long months of grief—idiot!), but that’s when I started to read the blog (the advice seemed so audacious to me then! how could anyone actually do these things and live to tell the tale?! (-;). And that’s how I came upon my lost hope.
I think I had the opposite situation- my ex is a person who always wants to be friends and never let go of anybody- so that’s why he either conveniently “forgot” or went against my no-contact request (I don’t know why- I was in NC so didn’t ask) and re-traumatized me.
I think I googled “getting over a breakup”.
[...] at porn or chatting in chat rooms. I did a post on this once (and imagine my surprise that it has george macdonald and porn in it…hee hee)…HERE about [...]
the ‘ do men suffer after a break-up’ was mine lol
I tried for 25 years in an abusive marriage to rescue my partner. I dreamed that good would triumph over evil and he would see that someone really loved him and would not abandon him. My dream died but then I realized it had changed good triumphed over evil except I got rescue instead.It has been nc for almost 2years and divorsed since 3-12-08. I am 58 years old and my life has begun once more. It was not easy in the beginning but all the hard work is worth it. I get up each and every morning and say this is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it. Its now my choice and my dream.
Oh boy – oh boy what a cool way to find your blog. Who new I was going to have so much fun when I searched on “age difference blogs” using the Word Press search engine. I’ll be back coz you cracked me up!
Now I’ve gotta find out if blogger.com has the same feature so I can crack myself up!
Thanks for a fun read.
Great post!!! I love that feature. I have a blog that’s dormant now, but I would always check out how people arrived at my site.
I googled “getting over a breakup” or “moving past a breakup.” I am so grateful to have found Susan’s site. Since I started reading and posting here, there’s been a shift. I got stronger and had more clarity on the FIRST DAY! Thank you Susan for your help and service to all of us :)