Thanksgiving is a time for pausing and giving thanks but daily gratitude is an important part of a healthy life.
Even when you’re hurting and things don’t seem so great.
Last week was my first birthday and Monday was my first wedding anniversary without Michael. It hurt (like hell) and was hard. But my kids and grandkids and best friend and kids all went out Saturday night (photos are in an album on Facebook) and my kids just wrote lovely things in my cards and gave me wonderful gifts.
My children performed admirably, above and beyond what any parent could expect, during Michael’s illness and death. We were together as a family the whole way, supporting each other, helping each other, growing closer in the face of heartache. We all stumbled around sometimes but picked each other up.
I like to think the way I raised them had something to do with it. The birthday cards they sent me all said the same thing: “You’ve always been there for me.” It was nice that they put those words into action and are now there for me.
I know the kids may see me differently now…they’ve never seen me cry like that…they’ve never seen me get hit so hard by anything in my life. Sometimes I think they were worried about me…But it’s okay.
I took my children out of the dysfunctional worlds I lived in and we forged through life on our own…sometimes with barely any money and not a lot of anything…but each other…and that was enough.
I changed my life, kicked out the bananaheads, did my work, tended to my life and I met Michael. The most wonderful, sweetest person I’ve ever known. Michael said he loved me because I am who I say I am…and even when who I am changes, I show that face to the world. I’ve always been strong and there for the kids. They have been paying that back to me tenfold over the past year and a half.
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I’m grateful for the kind caregivers I met this year, the hospice workers and my two live-in caregivers who were the kindest men to Michael. He deserved them…I’m glad I spent a lot of time caring for Michael, being his voice and surrounding him with only others who cared and brought goodness to his life. I’m grateful I could be the champion of a man who gave so much to me.
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I’m grateful I’ve known love as I did. To be loved and cared for deeply by someone who never made me cry, who never treated me unkind, called me a name or even raised his voice at me. We had such a good relationship…There are people like that and there is love like that. Count on it. Believe it. And do your work.
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I’m thankful for all the readers who come here every day and share their experience, strength and hope with each other. I’m grateful for those who wrote privately and sent cards and gifts. One person sent me a DVD from Sweden, another 3 books in the mail, another a plant just sent from “A GPYP reader.” And people donated to Michael’s foundation and bought extra GPYP books to give to domestic violence shelters. Thank you all so much.
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I’m grateful for everyone who bought a copy of my book when it came out in May. Due to Michael’s illness, I was not able to do the book promotion I wanted to do, so I thank you all for buying it, passing it on and passing it to others. And for those still recommending it, and promoting it, buying it and giving to others, recommending it and putting a link to the booksite on other forums, thank you so very much. Thank you. It helps keep the lights on on this blog.
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As I said last year, the community here is incredible and I’m very grateful for each and every one of you for being here. Thank you especially to those who come here and do their work and heal and then stay here to reach back and pull new posters along.
Thank you all for your honesty and your sharing and your willingness to do the hard work. Know that so many others in this world are unwilling to do the hard stuff you’re doing. And their lives will reflect that. And yours will one day reflect the enormous energy you are putting into healing in its vibrance and its incredibleness.
The blog has grown so much in the past three years and I can’t answer every comment as I once did…but I read them all each and every day.
Sometimes I pull out my blackberry in some random place and read GPYP comments and I’m grateful, to those who find us when hurting, to those who help others, to those who ask questions. It makes my day.
So I am thankful to each and every person here, both those who are new and those who have been here a while.
Even in this year of unfathomable loss, I’m thankful for love and life and healing, both mine and yours.
If things are not exactly as you wish them to be this holiday season, just trust the process
and
don’t give up the day before the miracle happens.
Things will…WILL…get better.
Just hold on, hold out and keep healing and feeding your soul with goodness.
If you look at your life through the prism of gratitude for what you have and not what you don’t have, that helps your healing. Tremendously.







